Let Me Sell You Health Insurance

How are you today? Ever considered buying health insurance?

What’s health insurance?

Well, you pay some money every month to us and if you ever need to go to the hospital, we’ll help cover the bills!

Oh, great! So I don’t have to worry about a bill that’s thousands or tens of thousands of dollars – y’all will take care of it?

Well… kind of. You see, first you have to meet your deductible, and then we start covering costs.


Yea, if you go to the hospital for work, you’ll need to pay some extra costs before we cover your claim.

But I’d already be paying each month, wouldn’t I?

Yes, but that’s the premium. Our coverage also mandates you pay a deductible. 

Okay, so how much is the deductible?

Well, depending on your plan, it could be $500 to $6000.

So even after I pay the required premium each month, I still have to pay more before I can use the insurance?

… Yes.

Okay… So after the deductible, y’all will handle the rest of the cost?

Not exactly. You see, depending on what needs to be done, there could be a copay involved.

Which is?

We pay a set portion of the bill and you pay the rest.

How much is the copay?

For us, ballpark, let’s say 30%. So we pay 70%, you pay 30%.

Okay, so after the monthly premiums and after the deductible, I could still have to pay 30% of the bill?

Yea! How does that sound?

Um, well I’m not sure just yet. Can I at least go to the doctor I choose?

Sort of, as long as they’re in our network of physicians. And make sure the hospital is in-network with us as well.

What happens if they’re not?

Then we won’t be able to cover you.

Okay, so if I at least met everything y’all require, y’all will cover me with any bills I get?

Not completely.

How so?

Well, we need to approve the claim first and negotiate prices with the hospital. And depending on your condition and what needs to get done, we do have the option of denying your claim.

So even after all that, it’s not a guarantee you’ll cover me? After all the money I give you, there’s still a chance you won’t give it back to me when I need it?

… Yes – but! It’s a dangerous world out there, you don’t want to go through it without insurance! And you can trust us to always put you first.

Well this is kind of expensive. Is there a cheaper option?

You can always get insurance through your employer!

But if I lose my job, don’t I lose my insurance then?

You would, but you always have us to turn to just in case! So how are we feeling?

Well, one more question. All of this covers eye doctors and dentists too, right?

No, you’ll need to pay a separate fee for coverage on those.

And prescriptions? Do y’all cover those?

Well for that, the coverage we offer depends on the type of prescription drug you get.

But I usually get prescribed the drug by my doctor. I don’t always have a say in what drug I get.


Well, I guess I don’t have much of a choice. What kind of plans do you offer?

Oh, well we offer many plans and I’m sure one is just right for you! Oh, and I forgot to ask, do you have any preexisting conditions?



Photo by Hush Naidoo on Unsplash

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